A couple days ago I read a news story about a couple married for 59 years who died holding hands. That story hit me firmly in my little ol’ heart. It hit me so hard, I am still thinking about it. When I first read it, I couldn’t wait to meet up with my newest sister friend/neighbor to do a little community cleanup. Those dreaded weeds! Anyway, I desperately needed to engage her in the discussion … What makes a good husband, good father and good man? As soon as I read the story, I was overwhelmed with emotion and that question: What makes a good husband, good father and good man? How does this happen?
Okay you’ve probably read the story and now wondering what about it propelled me into such a deep, thought provoking state of mind. I’ll tell you … it was one little sentence … “The first question he had every day was ‘What’s going on with my wife?’’’. WOW! For all of their years together, the ups and downs, still after 59 years, despite his own illness, his first thought every day on his deathbed was still devoted to the woman he decided long ago would be the one he’d love for all eternity. He was a Trinity Man!
I told my sister friend/neighbor about the story and then in the midst of pulling those blasted (and painful) thistle weeds, the two of us are trying to solve this mystery. How do men become the trinity … good husband, father and man? What are the ingredients. What did their parents do? What didn’t their parents do? Is it serendipity? Is it planned or unplanned? How does this happen! I wanna know.
Despite marriages, affairs, relationships, I can honestly say I never found myself a Trinity Man. Sure he may have possessed some of the attributes that made him a good one of the three but there have been no Trinity Men.
Since reading that story, I’ve been like well hell where’s my Trinity Man been all my life. I’ve kissed one too many frogs. And only one frog in my whole life may have even come close to being a Trinity Man. I want one just like the one in the story. I’m sure he wasn’t perfect and neither was she. I’m not even caring about their arguments and whatever else they may have experienced in 59 years. I am, however, loving the commitment to stay together til the very end and then afterwards. That says a lot to me. That tells me ol’ girl got herself a Trinity Man. And, she made it work!
I have friends whose marriage I have viewed from the outside for years. They’ve been married for 50 years. While I’m certain they’ve had ups, downs and that stuff in between, I’m certain he is a Trinity Man. One day, I heard her Trinity Man say he had to go to the market because his “baby” was coming home for a visit. That “baby” was 30 something, living on her own in another state. And, that “baby” talks about her “daddy” like he is the King of Kings. A Trinity Man!
One day while sitting in my car in front of their home talking to the both of them, my friend heard my car door squeak. She turned to her Trinity Man and asked him to oil my door. What did he do? Yep, he retrieved that oil from their garage and oiled my car door. This is her Trinity Man. Watching the two of them in their home, cooking large meals together gives me the warm fuzzy every single time I witness it!
Call me the ultimate romantic … I’m okay with that. I just wanna know what were these men taught? What did they observe in their households? Somebody please tell me what made them Trinity Men.
After reading the story, I feared that I may have failed in creating a Trinity Man for some worthy woman. I pray that I am wrong but you just never know. How proud must be the mothers of Trinity Men. It has to be the bestest feeling to watch your son, taking care of his wife, his children and their home. It has to give you a tingly feeling all in your toes to watch your son value his wife, his children and their home.
My friend said it without even realizing she had solved the mystery … it’s about valuing. When you value someone, you work to ensure they are safe, they are happy, their needs are met and their worries are minimized. When you value someone your first question of every day is ‘what’s going on with my wife?’
My love, respect and admiration to all the Trinity Men.
For me, I’m just continuing to treat myself wonderfully every single day.