Category Archives: loyal, loyalty

Things that make you go Mmmmm….. Trinity Men!

A couple days ago I read a news story about a couple married for 59 years who died holding hands.  That story hit me firmly in my little ol’ heart.  It hit me so hard, I am still thinking about it.  When I first read it, I couldn’t wait to meet up with my newest sister friend/neighbor to do a little community cleanup. Those dreaded weeds!  Anyway, I desperately needed to engage her in the discussion … What makes a good husband, good father and good man?  As soon as I read the story, I was overwhelmed with emotion and that question:  What makes a good husband, good father and good man?  How does this happen?

Okay you’ve probably read the story and now wondering what about it propelled me into such a deep, thought provoking state of mind.  I’ll tell you … it was one little sentence  … “The first question he had every day was ‘What’s going on with my wife?’’’. WOW!  For all of their years together, the ups and downs, still after 59 years, despite his own illness, his first thought every day on his deathbed was still devoted to the woman he decided long ago would be the one he’d love for all eternity.  He was a Trinity Man!

I told my sister friend/neighbor about the story and then in the midst of pulling those blasted (and painful) thistle weeds, the two of us are trying to solve this mystery.  How do men become the trinity … good husband, father and man?  What are the ingredients. What did their parents do?  What didn’t their parents do? Is it serendipity?  Is it planned or unplanned?  How does this happen! I wanna know.

Despite marriages, affairs, relationships, I can honestly say I never found myself a Trinity Man.  Sure he may have possessed some of the attributes that made him a good one of the three but there have been no Trinity Men.

Since reading that story, I’ve been like well hell where’s my Trinity Man been all my life.  I’ve kissed one too many frogs.  And only one frog in my whole life may have even come close to being a Trinity Man.  I want one just like the one in the story. I’m sure he wasn’t perfect and neither was she.  I’m not even caring about their arguments and whatever else they may have experienced in 59 years.  I am, however, loving the commitment to stay together til the very end and then afterwards.  That says a lot to me. That tells me ol’ girl got herself a Trinity Man. And, she made it work!

I have friends whose marriage I have viewed from the outside for years. They’ve been married for 50 years.  While I’m certain they’ve had ups, downs and that stuff in between, I’m certain he is a Trinity Man.  One day, I heard her Trinity Man say he had to go to the market because his “baby” was coming home for a visit.  That “baby” was 30 something, living on her own in another state.  And, that “baby” talks about her “daddy” like he is the King of Kings.  A Trinity Man!

One day while sitting in my car in front of their home talking to the both of them, my friend heard my car door squeak. She turned to her Trinity Man and asked him to oil my door. What did he do?  Yep, he retrieved that oil from their garage and oiled my car door. This is her Trinity Man.  Watching the two of them in their home, cooking large meals together gives me the warm fuzzy every single time I witness it!

Call me the ultimate romantic … I’m okay with that.  I just wanna know what were these men taught?  What did they observe in their households? Somebody please tell me what made them Trinity Men.

After reading the story, I feared that I may have failed in creating a Trinity Man for some worthy woman.  I pray that I am wrong but you just never know.  How proud must be the mothers of Trinity Men. It has to be the bestest feeling to watch your son, taking care of his wife, his children and their home.  It has to give you a tingly feeling all in your toes to watch your son value his wife, his children and their home.

My friend said it without even realizing she had solved the mystery … it’s about valuing.  When you value someone, you work to ensure they are safe, they are happy, their needs are met and their worries are minimized.  When you value someone your first question of every day is ‘what’s going on with my wife?’

My love, respect and admiration to all the Trinity Men.

For me, I’m just continuing to treat myself wonderfully every single day.

Dedicated to the puppy I love…

Today was at the top of the list as one of my saddest days ever.  You know that puppy I walk. The one I mention periodically.  I had to kiss and say goodbye to her this morning.  She was 13 years and truly a joy. I loved that dog and if there had been a way I could have saved her, I would have.  I couldn’t.  So I had to simply let her go. I wept, I cried and am still experiencing momentary weaknesses. But the most grown-up thing I have ever done in my life was to let this sweet, beautiful puppy go. A puppy that I have loved for over a decade.

I was hopeful and prayerful last night and just knew somehow I could get a miracle.  No miracle. I did, however, awaken with one single thought — I had treated her so well. I rescued her from the Humane Society and loved her every single day.  She was faithful and loyal and the epitome of what is genuine, unconditional love.  And, while my favorite thing was the walks we shared, her’s were definitely the rides. She knew when it was the weekend.  And, she knew she was going to ride with me as I took care of my errands even if it took me all day.

I find solace in that last Saturday, I took her on her last ride.

I find solace in that as recently as last week I provided her favorite foods, pork rinds, bologna and cheese.

I find solace in that I remained with her until she fell asleep with my hands on her back.

I find solace in that I was a responsible pet owner and gave her the best life I could.

So I dedicate this page, this day to my beloved sweet puppy.  I will miss her but know in my heart of hearts that I made the right decision at the right time with the information I was given. I could not and would not allow her to suffer. I would not be selfish.  I only wish I had realized we were at the end and I had given her the greatest send-off … a buffet of all of her favorite foods. That will be my only regret as I mourn the loss of my beautiful companion.

Today, I made a difficult decision but I made it. My heart will heal for as with all sad and sorrowful moments in this life time really does heal all wounds.

With a heavy and broken-heart I say Goodbye My Sweet Cocoa Bean!

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