60, 49, 39

Last Tuesday, I turned 60 years old.  The big 60, 6-0! I wanted to shut myself in a room and scream — how in the world did this happen.  I don’t want to be 60. I want to be 49 or even 39.  Definitely, not 60. I am not interested in the alternative either! Not one bit. So, I guess I will embrace my 60 and move right along.

As I sit here and review my life, my mistakes, my successes, my hopes and my dreams, one thing is certain, the last year became the year that I would come into my own. It is the year that I would discover my true passion.  It is to write.  It is the year, I would establish healthy boundaries.  And, it is the year that caused me to decide I would make changes.

To begin, I invoke the 12 Steps for Self Care.

12 Steps for Self Care

I invoke self-esteem. I invoke self-confidence. I invoke self-respect. I invoke a peacefulness within me that transcends negativity and drama.  I invoke love.  I invoke discernment.  I invoke positive and loving thoughts.

I invoke relationships that are kind and loving. I invoke happiness and laughter. I invoke all that is good and wonderful.  I invoke the continued love of my friends. I invoke a life filled with the promise of all that God has in store for me. I invoke success and prosperity.

I invoke my children will live full lives filled with happiness and enjoyment.

As I enter this new decade in my life, I decide what is right for me and will hold onto it. I, and I along, will decide that which is wrong and leave it.  I will, without hesitation, eliminate anything or anyone from my life that doesn’t feel right, that is disquieting to my spirit.

I abandon what has ill served me in the past. I abandon relationships with the emotionally unavailable. I abandon casual sex — sex without commitment or monogamy. I abandon negativity and drama. I abandon those that make me doubt myself.

I abandon the following words in any future posts:  narcissist, misogynist, womanizer, sociopath, psychopath or any words or references that gave birth to this blog.  That is the past. I abandon that past.  It is but one tiny aspect of my otherwise full and wonderful life. I abandon all vexations.

I abandon any conversations with the sister friends about the past year.  I abandon any efforts for that one experience to define me or cause me another minute of discomfort.  I am breathing fresh air.

I will love myself. I have closed a chapter in my life and am now writing a new one which will be filled with the love and goodness for which I was placed on this earth. I may not be able to turn back the clock and be 49 or 39. But I will be 60 and proud of it. I will be 60 knowing that I have yet another opportunity to improve myself and do things a little differently.

I will be 60 and Happy and In Love With Me. I will say goodbye to my 50s with some sadness but knowing that I am a better me. I am 60. I am 60 and have emerged from the fog.

I will treat myself better than well, I will treat myself wonderfully with the one caveat that others will also treat me well.

Treat yourselves wonderfully every single day!

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11 thoughts on “60, 49, 39

  1. I feel exactly like you, I think. As in, I know I have to embrace myself and move on to the future, and free myself from traumas from my past. I also wish I was younger. Thinking I would be doing so much better if I had the knowledge I have now, just at a younger age. At 29. Or 25 even. I could have made so much smarter choices. And then you come and tell me that you’d want to be my age. I am 39. Maybe you just managed to induce some of the sense we wish we had at a younger age into my mind… Thank you for trying, anyway!

    Very inspirational post! Go for it! Live as if there is no tomorrow and enjoy every second. Happy birthday! 🙂

    1. Thank you “Afterthepsychopath”! I think Oscar Wilde said it best ““Youth is wasted on the young.” And “wisdom is wasted on the old” has been added by others to that famous line. If we were half as smart at 29 (for you) 39 (for me) just think we would have done things differently. Then again, we would have different results. Without my faux pas, I would not be writing and I enjoy it so much. I enjoy this new community of sister friends. Love Yourself, that is what’s important.

  2. Happy Birthday, and best wishes for your next chapter. I will miss reading your post about your ‘Mess and a half’, but truly understand to move forward we have to leave the past. I will celebrate 40 on April 12. I’m ready to leave my 30’s behind as the last year was so shitty with my Ex. Let me know what your new blog will be!

    1. Thank you Tela. I never said I would not use the words “Mess-and-a-Half”. 🙂 I will continue eoftheu2014. I will celebrate life and what I’ve learned just a little differently. I have other Messes-and-a-Halves!

    1. Going ok! Still struggling with a sick computer and extremely busy at work. I miss my writing. I miss my blogging! Hope things are going well for you too. I guess I’ll sum it up and you’ll “get it” with Those Days…

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